Meeting new people is pretty scary. Not knowing how to behave in a new context is also scary. I am certainly not the prime example of social anxiety, but still, the feelings are there and they are uncomfortable. Signing on to the Atheopagan Web Weaving conference was intimidating, softened only by the fact that I have interacted with a handful of the attendees online in the past.

I think what is really at work in these situations isn’t a worry that the people on the other end of the screen are going to be mean or rude or hurtful. But what if we don’t like each other? What if this community of people that we are so excited to connect with, about whom we’ve previously exclaimed “I’ve found my people!”, turn out not to actually be our people? What if, in “meeting our heroes”, we are utterly disappointed?

I can speak for no one else at the conference, but at least for myself I can say that fortunately turned out NOT to be the case. Everyone at the conference was lovely, kind, accepting, excited, and happy to be there. It was incredible to be in a space, even a virtual one, where I knew I was safe to be myself and express my views and values, because the space was designed from the ground up with those values in mind, for people like me.

While it was emotionally and socially exhausting for me to be engaged at such a high level for two days, but was so very worth it. I came away with new ideas, a plethora of new resources and links and videos and books and, and, and, and….. There was just so much, even beyond the experiences presented in the workshops. Everyone who participated had ideas to share, connections to make, and the joy we all found in giving and taking from one another to enrich all our lives and practices was palpable.

I was worried that doing the event virtually would be jarring, as I was attending from my home where I live with others, and needed to be in and out of the conference “headspace” as I transitioned in and out of mothering my child and caring for my family. In reality, I think this was somewhat of a benefit in some ways. After hearing many stories from attendees of the in-person SunTree retreat last year, bemoaning the emotional fallout of having to transition back to “real life”, I think that attending the conference in my office may have helped soften that experience for me. Now my office space is imbued with fond memories of the new people and new ideas from the conference, the excitement and joy of the experience. In this way the conference and the connections made were themselves more “real” and I felt more able to reach out and continue those connections after the conference. I even was fortunate enough to make two real world friends in my local area, who have since been invited into my home and with whom I’ve made plans for more time together.

What a blessing from the event organizers, and the Atheopagan community, to come away from an event that I approached with a bit of trepidation with so much joy and connection. I am truly thankful for the opportunity to have attended and to be able to be certain now when I say “these are my people.”

Susan Paterson, Contributor